“What will I tell my daughter”, you asked me, “when she asks about how she was born?”
Very few people ever imagined they would be giving birth during a global pandemic. Where hospital protocols and medical appointments are a blur of newly released and ever-changing information, and restrictive policies seem to take the dreams that you had for your birth further and further away. It is inevitable that we as human beings try to hold on to what we know, what used to be, and fall into the Why me? ;Why now?; What else?; side of the debate.
All around you the World is spinning faster and faster in a myriad of information, fear, panic, helplessness and despair. The jokes and memes about the quarantine all over social media are no longer funny. All you want is firm ground to stand on, and definite answers, or at least a hug. I´m afraid I can´t give you any of that right now.
In times of too much stimulus from the outside world, it´s always a good idea to go inward. Shut down the fear, questions and millions of opinions online. Are they really yours? Shut off the news stories you now allow to bombard your days. If you must, check in when you need information. But then put the rest of the World on mute.
There´s a lot I don´t know right now. But I do know this: somethings have not changed. Your belly will keep growing, and inside it, your baby is safe and protected. Warm in the gentle waving of your waters, nourished by the mastery and mystery that is your amazing placenta.
Your body needs more oxygen to respond to the needs of your growing baby. So your lungs got bigger. Your blood volume has increased by a whopping 50% in order to help support your uterus. And your heart is pumping at an increasing rate as well. You are becoming more flexible. Your ligaments loosen thanks to the relaxin hormone, in preparation for opening up and letting your baby through. See how amazing your body is? Inside you, many magical things are happening. Nonstop. All to better carry and birth your baby.
When the time comes, the amazing birth hormones will soften your cervix, push your baby downward and open the gateway for her to come meet you this side of your story. You can trust that. Your body works. Birth works. With a precision and a certainty perfected by hundreds, thousands of years. Your body was made to do this. You and your baby will be doing this together. And if you think about it, only two people are needed for birth to happen. A woman, and her baby.
Go inward. Pray, sing, meditate, whatever works for you. Find your centre. Your happy place. There is nothing you need to do, be, or have right now. Just let your body do its job. It´s very, very good at it.
What will you tell your daughter? It will go something like this: “You were born in the year of the big virus…” and you will proceed to recount all that went on, all we still don´t know about this story yet to unfold. But when you do tell her, whatever you decide to tell her…don´t forget the part where her mamma was so brave and strong.
With love and respect.
Your doula Sara.